


The circle of love

by glassofgin92



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Cruelty, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Love Triangles, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Sad, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-05-28 08:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15045401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassofgin92/pseuds/glassofgin92
Summary: It all begins with Newt and his colleague May, falling in love with each other.Hermann slowly finds his feelings for Newt...The love story of Newt and my fictional Character and the big love story of Newt and Hermann.Through the years and both movies and afterwards.





	1. Friendship becomes Love

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it - it's my first work!  
> I'm german - so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes ;)

Dr. Newton Geiszler sat right in front of her. It’s Newt. That was quite the first thing he said to her. 

They met for the first time in the lab of him and his colleague Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. She was there with Tendo Choi, her supervisor in the LOCCENT, to discuss a recent problem she didn’t remember anymore. It had been a while since then. But she remembered her first meeting and handshake with Newt, his smiling, asking look while he waited for her name. "May" she said. "Lovely Name" he answered smiling at her. He didn’t say it in a charming or flirty way. Just with his positive and cute voice. It was a warm and happy feeling that spreaded out through her heart. From that moment on she already knew that Newt would be someone special to her.

They were sitting in the canteen, in front of each other and their meals. It became some kind of tradition to them. Every possible breakfast and dinner they had together in the canteen. One day Newt just came along while she was sitting there and joined her. May was really happy about that. Before that she had been almost everytime alone sitting there and eating her meals. She heard from other colleagues that Newt was also mostly seen alone. Or sometimes he just took his food to his lab. They liked each other pretty obviously. There was a lot that they had in common. Like age, studying time at the MIT, their interests in movies and music, their work at the PPDC, and so on. Some colleagues from the Shatterdome were talking about them. She knew about it. Nothing bad – they just gazed at them and talked about how obviously they were in line with each other. Like a must-be-couple or something. But she was not like Newt. She wasn’t that outspoken and active, a little more melancholic maybe she thought. She didn’t even had a tattoo. She almost appeared prissy next to him. But she felt so comfortable with him and she thought – she hoped – he felt the same way.

He poked in his meal with his head down. She looked at him. He really was attractive. Not such a tall and beefy man. Rather right that statue you expect from a nerd – in a positive way. This day he wore a simple dark shirt with his sleeves rolled up so you can see the tattoos on his arms. She looked at Yamarashi and his colors. She never thought she would like them so much. But it was his whole appearance that attracted to her. His smile, his gestures, his eyes, his voice. She looked at his slightly messy brown hair, his greenish eyes that looked down at his food through his glasses. There was nothing she had to ad, to take away or to change about him.This feelings had been there for a while now. Maybe he was more than a friend. There had been evenings when she was sitting on her bed and thought about how she confesses to him, that there may be more like friendship she felt. But… this place… this world… the kaijus… their work… She always went out with the same end. What they had – what she had with him – was great. She wouldn’t risk to loose this. Though she didn’t know how he felt anyway. Was he attracted the same way she was? She thought about herself. She may be not that endearing like him.

„Man, he’s sooo annoying! Always grumps on everything! Today he shouted at me just because there was some kaiju slime or whatever of a sample on his chair and he messed up his grandpa pants with it. I can‘t even make out how it got there!“ Newt complained. He just continued what he was talking about before May lost herself in her thoughts.

May giggled. That was not the first time she heard stuff like this. Dr. Gottlieb was often a subject.

„That’s not funny!“ Newt said, but he was also laughing. „I have to work with him every damn day!“ 

„I know,I know.“ May said grinning. „ Though I think it’s not always easy to work with you either.“ She said with an challenging act.

„Whaaat?! I’m a personified enrichment!“ Newt said shocked. He gestured towards her as a proof.

„For me, yes, but not for normal human beings.“ May said. She liftet her arms and shrugged her shoulders.  
„Yeah, sure, Hermann is a normal human being!“ Newt rose one eyebrow. May folded her arms.

For a moment they looked steadliy at each other. Newt fixated his eyes on her.Then they broke out in a hearthly quite laughter.

They continued eating again. Then May said : „ You guys are a great team. No matter how different you are. That’s what makes you a good team. You two will realize that someday.“  
She smiled warmly at Newt. „Just don’t bother yourself so much about him.“ Newt blinked and than smiled at her. His eyes had a strange glow. She suddenly felt her stomach tighten. Her heart did a jump. No she thought and cleared her throat. „He is probalby more annoyed by you than you are by him.“ She said smiling whimsically to relax the situation.  
„Oh come on!“ Newt said and leaned his head a bit looking at her. He grinned.

They ended their meal and took away their plates. Then they headed to the entrance of the canteen where the hallway split up to three ways. They paused at that point. That was their place to say goodbye. It was 20:30. They were quite late today.  
Newt yawned und stretched. „Another day’s end in saving the world.“ He sounded kinda tired.  
„Yeah.“ May replied. She was tired too. The work was quite exhausting in the last days. She had to fix and reface a lot of programs. And this always had to happen as fast as possible. You never knew when the next kaiju showed up.  
Newt suddenly looked down his hallway and sighed. He seemed to be a little bit gloomy.  
„I need to catch the break-through with the kaiju soon. There must be something I can find out to give us the twist. I need to….“  
He sounded weary. And…sad? This was quite unusual for him. May didn’t know that this bothered him so much. That he had so much pressure. Mostly made by himself, of course. Sure, everyone was sick of this war, everyone gave their best to help and everyone knew that. Newt dissected the kaiju. Of course he was sure there must be some kind of weak point – or rather some kind of explanation. She suddenly felt guilty and sad because she apperently didn’t see his doubts yet.  
She took a step towards him and put a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head. He didn’t see that coming. He was lost in thoughts.  
„I am sure you will. You do your best all the time.“ She looked deeply in his eyes. She was so tired she apperently lost her discretion. Touching was not that usual between them though they knew each other pretty well already. This touch had build up big tension between them. Could he feel it too? He was so close now she could feel his breath. She almost added or did something she would regret afterwards. Like You are the best or I’ll be there for you or just kissed him on the cheek. My god… better enough for today she said to herself.  
„Yeah.“ Newt said quietly. Then he nodded and smiled „You’re right.“ He really seemed less sad. But he also kept on staring at her. May grinned - tried to override her nervousness. She slowly let go of him and he desisted from her too. Newts face relaxed and he smiled.  
She turned away by saying „The truth is out there.“  
Newt breathed in deeply and almost shouted excited: „Oh my god! An X-files quote! I know why I love you so much!“  
He did that with such a laughter in his voice that it never would have sound truly meant. Just a phrase.  
She walked into her direction of the hallway „Night, Newt!“ she said happily giggling. To put it down into what it was. A phrase. Her heart was beating hardly in her ears.

„…Night!“ He said with a slightly waving arm. The laughter in his voice was gone.

...

Right after Newt was in his room he leaned against his closed door and ran with his palms through his face.  
You fucking idiot he said to himself. How stupid stupid stupid.

He couldn’t explain why the hell on earth he said this stupid thing to her. Certainly because he was so tired. I know why I love you so much he thought by the way hahaha. That was awkward - even for him. He made his way through his room and let fall himself into his bed. Her reaction he thought. It was a joke for her for sure. So he was lucky. Or? Was it not like that? He sat himself up. He thought about May. He had thought about it a few times at least. Was she really just a friend? They behaved like that, of course. But for him she was even more already. He thought it was really love. He had a few flirts in his life, and more, yeah, but he never met someone like her. She was someone he was afraid to loose. That he could scare her away with jerk phrases like that. That was the first time. To anyone else in his life he didn’t care what they thought about him and his talking – his behavior.  
She was such a good friend to him. She’s cool he thought about her during their first dinner in the canteen after getting to know she was a fan like him in rock, movies, series and he got to know her full attitude. He liked her from the first second they met. She was beautiful and cute. Just a little something under his height, slim with female hips. She didn’t had a classic beauty face – she was a nerd like him anyway. But beautiful. Blonde long hair always tied up in tail, for working. She had a simple style with jeans und bluses and shirts. Her bluses were sometimes kittenish and colorful. They suited her perfectly. 

The more Newt thought about May the more he was sure that he definitely had a crush on her. A serious crush.  
He wondered how she might feel. Her reaction. She laughed about it….Well, that was his fault anyway. Why take something like that seriously? Why take him seriously in such a situation? He thought it might be the time for showing her how much he liked her. Maybe without being too brash… He wasn’t sure how May felt at all.

Newt let himself fall back again just to get up in less than a second with the idea. „Yes!“ he said loud to himself as a relief. He jumped up and hastened to his desk. He grubbed through the sheets and books and finally found what he was looking for.  
He made sure if he was right. He was.

 

The next morning Newt got up dizzy. He didn’t sleep well because he was too deep into thoughts. But he also remembered something he forgot during his last evening. He was half in pain about his phrase to her. But... he remembered her hand on his shoulder. He was surprised. What did she think? She seemed insecure after she did this. This deep look into his eyes caused him goosebumps. He had a feeling she was up to something more but held it back. And she played her laughter at the end maybe? This gave him some kind of bravery – to get his plan straight this day.

They always had their breakfast together. Dinner was difficult sometimes because of work coming in the way. They started at the same time in the morning so a shared breakfast was nearly always possible.  
When Newt arrived in the canteen May already sat at their common table. She had a cup of coffee in front of her. She rarely ate something in the morning. She always had her coffee and a second maybe and watched Newt eating his cereal or something. She said she wasn’t hungry in the morning. She was not an early bird at all.  
He got his breakfast and headed to their table. She looked up „Morning Newt.“ She said softly.  
„Morning May-Day!“ he answered, right off starting with a joke. He called her that sometimes.  
She smiled and then yawned. She really looked as tired as he felt.  
„You don’t look that fit. Are you ok?“ Newt couldn’t hide a worried sound.  
She heared it. „Nah, it’s ok. I just didn’t sleep well.“ May rubs around her eyes. She had a slight daily make-up. Just to highlight her eyes. Newt watched her. Even so tired she looked beautiful to him. That day she was wearing a bluse with big vertical stripes in black and green. It layed slightly skinny around her waist and chest. She looked nice. After she had finished rubbing and yawning she looked at Newt again. She blinked „Is something wrong?“  
Newt realised he was holding his spoon full of cerals in front of his face. He had stopped the process for gazing at May. He startled and said „No! No everything’s fine!“ He scooped his spoon in his mouth just to shut up.

May had her second coffee and Newt had finished eating. A few minutes were left than they would go to work.  
Newt took a deep silent breath and began „Soo um… I accidentally saw the birthday list yesterday. Do you party tonight or what?“ He said it with a laughter. Of course noone partied here. And he didn’t see it accidentally. He knew her birthday was very close but he checked the list yesterday evening to be sure. May‘s birthday was tomorrow.  
„What?“ she asked visibly too tired. Then she understood and giggled „Haha of course. The whole shatterdome parties tonight with me! Pentecost does the host.“ They laughed shortly.  
„Maybe it would be nice enough to party with me?“ Newton asked brashly. He kinda trembled.  
May looked at him. „You know, to get into your birthday in a well way. I think we could go outside here into the city to have something to eat or something. Just to come out of here for a while. I thought that would be nice. You’re invited of course!“  
Newt trembled even more and licked his lip after he finished. May seemed slightly confused. But than her face turned into a warm smile and she looked at Newt. „That would be… ah fuck no!“ She rolled her eyes and rubbed her face again with her palm. Newt’s first delight turned into disappointment.  
„I’ve got so much work to do today. I have to work at the systems in LOCCENT and until tomorrow I have to work at other programs tonight. I don’t know how long it will take. It has to be finished tomorrow, for sure.“ May looked away. She seemed sad. Newt thought this was not bad sign.  
„I’m sorry.“ She said looking back at him.  
„Don’t be.“ Newt said shortly just figuring out a new plan. May looked disappointed. He was pondering.  
Than Newt stood up. It was time. „Well, I’ve got something to do today in the evening. Don’t wait for me here.“  
„Oh okay…“ May blinked at Newt. There was nothing special about their work getting in the way but Newt knew he was cruel now.  
„‘til tomorrow than, Bye!“ Newt smiled and waved shortly. Then he was gone.


	2. Love and Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt and May getting Close...  
> Finally Hermann enters this Story...

May sat at the table for a moment more. Newt left his dishes. She was confused. She made her thoughts about how Newt probably felt he got the mitten. But…. Why? Yesterday she wasn’t even sure if Newt saw her as something more than a friend in the first place and now? She was afraid she might turned him down? This was so unusal for him. To be so harshly disappointed. Sure he was. So was she. But that ending here was awkward.  
She thought about his phrase yesterday. I know why i love you so much. His laughter. May couldn’t put it in no matter how hard she tried. It was a phrase, a joke, and it hurt her in a way. In the night she had the thought it might had been all true and just slipped out. But love? So much? Right off the bat the strongest feeling? She couldn’t tell. Her final state to this was that it was a phrase.

May got up, took away the dishes and made her way to the LOCCENT. It was a hard day. Tendo was also busy all the time and always had something for her to do or to explain to others besides her actual work. It wasn’t Tendo‘s fault when in one moment she yelled at him to be left alone. Tendo wasn’t angry and apoligised. It was not her nature being so rude. It was the bad sleep. And the evening. And the morning. She tried to block Newt out of her thoughts.  
After this horrbile day in the LOCCENT she was happy to go to her own room without any mistakes during the day. Something like that was fatal. And she wouldn’t forgive herself in such a case. But all was clear and she was empty. She took her meal from the canteen and went to her room. May wouldn’t stand any commentaries about not having Newt with her.

After May finished eating she took a shower. Just to have a slight feeling of being refreshed. As she was finished it was 21:08. She started her laptop to go for the another round today. 

 

May yawned. She didn’t feel empty earlier, she felt empty now. She looked over to her alarm clock. 00:06 were shining in red lights. She was through with her work. Everything clear. „Happy Birthday.“ she whispered to herself.  
She remained at her desk, letting Newt come back to her mind. May pondered about everything. Really soon she came to an end. It was so clear in front of her eyes. No matter what Newt did, said, meant or whatever. She wanted to keep him. As whatever he was right now. She didn’t want to loose him. She hoped he felt the same way. May would ask him tomorrow – oh today – if everything was alright with him or if she did something wrong because of his rushed leaving. If Newt wasn’t up to give a hint about the things she thought about – it just wasn’t. It would remain as it was. Easy.

00:12. There was a knocking at her door. May turned her head towards it. Wondered if she was already dreaming. Than a voice began to sing „ Happy Birthday to you….“ "Newt" she almost shouted but it remained only in her mind. She made her way to the door to open it.  
Outside in the hallway was Newt, holding a little cake in his hands in front of him. A little candle burned on top of the cake in the almost complete dark hallway. Only the light of the next crossbreed and the one of her room made the hallway less dark. He sang the song along softly and brightly.

„….tooo youuuu.“ Newt ended. He smiled with an innocent look on his face.

„Newt…“ was all May was able to say. 

Newt took a little step forwards to be in the brighter light.  
„You thought I would forget you?“ He sounded a little bit unsafe but tried to dub it.

„Yeah… I mean no…Erm… will you come in?“

„If you beg me this way.“ He said in a cheerfull voice and stepped in.  
May closed the door. She looked at Newt standing beside her – gazing at her with the cake in his palms. His green eyes were shining.  
„Go for a wish.“ He gestured to the cake and the candle.

May blew out the candle. She had a wish.

They gazed at each other for a few moments. Newt seemed totally calm now. He just stared with a neutral face, slightly happy.

„I…I can take this…“ May gestured to he cake.  
„…Oh yeah, sure“ Newt replied being dragged away from the moment. She took the cake and placed it on her desk. It was cake covered with chocolate. This was really something hard to get these days. Sure Newt needed his time today baking it by himself probably. May had to smile about that.

„I don’t want to disturb you in your work. Don’t wanna hold you up. I know it’s important.“ Newt pointed at her desk. 

„I’m done. Just a few minutes ago. That’s timing.“ She tried to smile.  
„Oh ok, cool.“ Newt said. Then his thoughts went on „Ah, Erm… Of course you are tired now. I don’t want to keep you away from sleeping.“ His calm disppeared and he trembled a bit. Playing with his hands.

May didn’t replied to it neither she asked what she wanted to ask. She made a step closer to him so she was in front of him now. She laid her arms around him. Remained her head against his shoulder. After a short moment he closed his arms around her.  
„Thank you. I’m glad that you’re here right now.“ May said calmly.

 

....

 

Newt felt himself less trembling with holding May in his arms. Just now he became clear about what she was actually wearing by holding his arms around her naked shoulders. She was appearently wearing her pyjama already. Just a dark tank top and shorts. Her skin felt warm on his arms. He wondered where this all would end. But at this point he just enjoyed it to be so close to May.

Than suddenly, after a long embrace, May looked up to him and into his eyes. What had been weariness and exhaustion was now pure clearity for the moment. She reached out with one hand and touched his cheek with her palm. Her palm was warm. She gave him a kiss on his other cheek. Newts heart jumped and his heartbeat hummed in his ears. He feared she could hear it. But he also felt that she trembled too. No that’s not just an act of friendship he became clear. She is nervous too he thought.  
As she finished the kiss and moved back with her head in front of his face Newt also touched one of her cheeks. May blinked. Newt concentrated his whole guts.Than Newt pulled her face closer to kiss her.  
Newt couldn’t explain how amazing this kiss felt. He felt like drifting into the whole universe, flying, and his emotions explode through his complete body. After a little movement of surprise May fell totally for it. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He lifted her up a little with his embrace.  
They went on kissing like this for a while, not willing this moment to end. Than they carefully stopped and looked at each other.  
Newt said under a chattering breath “…That was nice.” and grinned. May laughed a bit about this. Newt too while still holding her.  
“Yeah, that was a nice birthday present.” May said smiling.  
Newt beamed at her. Than something came to his mind he almost forgot. “ Ah.. erm yes! Well, I know this is totally amazing but wait up. There’s more!” He giggled. May rose one eyebrow, quite confused.  
He let go of her and pulled a little box out of his back pocket. He stretched out his hand and hold the box in his palm in front of her. First he did that fast and confident. Than he shrugged and pulled it back a few millimeter. “I hope you like it. You must know that I ordered it two months ago…” Newt suddenly felt a little bit insecure. She took the box and opened it carefully.  
There was a bracelet inside the box. May took it out of the box and looked at it closely. Newt felt kinda nervous. He never made a gift to a girl before. It was a silver bracelet with one single pendant hung on it. It was Godzilla. He saw May recognise the pendant and she began grinning. Newt turned red.  
“If I knew… well I mean… If I were secure…. Ehrm… I wanna say that… there might have been an other pendant on it…. A heart maybe….something more romantic…. Or…” He fought with his words.  
“This is.” May interrupted him softly. Newt blinked at her. “Godzilla is more romantic than a heart!” She said that in a so funny way that made it seem that hearts are the stupidest thing ever.  
“Really?” Newt frowned at her.  
“Really.” May nodded slowly and insistent. Newt was eased.  
“I love it.” She added. She looked at it again with a beautiful smile.  
“I love you.” Newt said. It came right of his mouth without any control. But he was sure.  
May gazed at him. Newt could see the pure luck in her eyes. She loved him too. How couldn't he see this before? She didn’t have to say anything at all.  
But she did. “I know.”  
Newt blinked. “You… You’re serious? Star Wars?” He shook his head in disbelief of his luck “Damn. You really know how to confess!”  
May smiled and Newt kissed her again.  
Newt could feel the pure affection and love rising with a fever pitch. He felt the tension increasing with the heat. As he noticed May’s body trembled like his - he decided to risk it.  
“There might be a third part of my birthday gifts…” He said softly. He knew that sounded kinda stupid. But May didn’t mind. She didn’t seem surprised. Rather eased.  
“That would be nice…” She beamed at him.  
“Cool…” Newt said dreamly and kissed her while moving towards the bed with her.

Newt had the most wonderful night of his life. He had the feeling it was only him and May in the whole world. No war. No fear. Waking up he feared it was all just a dream. But she layed right beside him. He sat up and looked down beaming at her. Than his view catched her alarm clock.  
They were quite late this morning. They decided to skip breakfast and go right to their work. May packed her laptop she was working on last night and went for the door. Newt grabbed her arm softly and pulled her back. He kissed her by saying “Just this one.” She grinned. As he wanted to go for the next she put one finger on his lips. The bracelet hung around her wrist. “Now stop that! We’re late already.” She claimed with a happy sound in her voice, but also with a sad tone in it. May sure wanted to stay here with him. Newt let her go winking. They went out in the hallway.  
Newt decided to take an arm around her shoulder while walking down the hallway. It felt good. May seemed delighted. Sure, nobody could tell they had a rough week with their work. They looked both too happy for this right now.  
They seperated with a little kiss that nobody saw. Noone had seen they walked together either. That was good. Newt knew that most of the people in the Shatterdome just waited for this. He was not in the mood for their reaction yet. She made her way down the hallway to the LOCCENT and waved at him saying lovely “Bye”. “Bye…” Newt watched her. Then he smiled and made his way to the lab.

Newt walked into the lab and saw his collegue already writing on the big chalkboard in his side of the room.  
“Morning, Hermann.” He said cheerfully.  
“Good Morning Dr. Geiszler.” Dr. Gottlieb replied without turning away from his chalkboard.  
Newt sighed in his inner. At least he didn’t claim to call him by his full name and title this time he thought. But than he suddenly remembered May and her opinion about him and Hermann. That they were a great team. She always mentioned something like that when Newt was complaining. Even that they would be good friends either.  
Newt wasn’t sure about that one and rose his eyebrows at this thought.  
But he wanted to try it. Actually he liked Hermann. When they had their first contact they were just writing letters about their researches und knowledges. But when they finally met up in person they had been truly disappointed about each other. That was Newts opinion. He wouldn’t had partied if he got himself as a partner when you expect a totally science guy. They simply were completely different. That was the reason for their almost daily argueing and fighting. But he also kinda liked it. To always have someone with a different opinon. It was challenging. Newt giggled about that thought.

So Newt decided to try. The best way - Newton thought - was to start with a hidden compliment.  
He walked over to Hermann's half of the lab – the line drawn by Hermann himself to keep Newt and his kaiju samples away from his work.  
“Hey Herms! You know what?”  
Hermann sighed and didn’t turn to Newt. He really seemed annoyed today. Ah fuck it Newt thought.  
“Well… I think that was quite a good idea with that line you know? Like… It’s useful… well to concentrate on our work you know…. That’s…. I just wanted to let you know that.” Newt grinned.  
While he was talking Hermann turned to Newt and watched him sceptically.  
“Ah. I see.” Hermann answered after a short moment waiting if Newt had finished babbling. He turned away from him rolling his eyes. That… was a really weak try Newt thought to himself.  
He snorted and wanted to start working with his samples.  
But than he had a thought. Maybe stupid, but it was simple.

Just being honest.

 

....

 

May got into the LOCCENT. Her colleagues reacted right after they saw her. “Happy Birthday” she heard from everyone. One’s birthday was always something precious here in the Shatterdome. To be alive and grow older. That day, or that feeling, was something they – the kaiju - couldn’t take.

Tendo Choi came over to her. She liked him. They made a great work together every day. He was her supervisor but she was rather his co-boss. The other colleagues had not that profession like her. He reached out and shook her hand. “You get old, my lady.” He said wide smirking. She was younger than him. “You would know.” May countered. Tendo laughed. Than he looked into her eyes seriously but smiling. “Only the best for you. You deserve it.” She was a little touched. He really meant it.  
“Yeah.” She replied and lifted the bag with her laptop up to her chest. She acted extremely proud like she deserved a medal. Tendo grinned. She got back to normal “Let’s get it started.” She said.

“Ah, before I forget…” Tendo was on his way to his desk than he turned back.  
“You and three others are needed in the Shatterdome in Sydney. Not for long. They just have huge problem with their control system. It’s not possible to fix it with remote maintenance. I’m sorry but you leave tonight.” He had a pitiyng look on his face.  
May needed a short moment. “Yeah, sure.” She nodded.  
Tendo nodded too than left.  
She started with her work by uploading the programs she was working on last night. She felt a little sad thinking of leaving here, even when it’s just for a few days. That’s timing she thought ironically.  
But May was sure she would’t be highly needed here for the whole day. These programs were almost the last step of the reface. Maybe she could leave earlier.

She thought about Newt. Her view catched the bracelet. A smile made up her face. She started working to get out of here as soon as possible.

...

 

“Hey listen!” Newt said to him and it sounded strangely serious. Different from his babbling before.  
Hermann turned his head to his lab partner.  
He couldn’t stand Newt right now. He was too angry and disappointed. About himself.

Hermann knew about Newt and May. He always knew that somethig was between them – like a lot of people in the Shatterdome – but after the last day he was sure that they were finally lovers. Hermann noticed how nervous Newt had been yesterday and he was sure about May’s birthday today. It was simple for a man like him – a man from the outside - to see something like that so damn easily. They had met last night. And after Newt swayed in here this morning Hermann knew for sure and could not keep his anger about himself down anymore.  
Hermann was enraged. About how he felt. He wasn’t sure why he felt so strange. He partly felt lucky for them. Of course. He would never be against love. But Hermann saw his last chance of having Newt as a friend being bashed, just because he was such a pighead. Newt asked a few - well almost a lot of times for Hermann habits - if Hermann wanted to join him and May for dinner. But he was too proud. Too proud to say that he would love to. To be with them. To be with Newt. And now he would not think about joining a lovely couple having dinner.  
He wanted to be good with Newt after all. Though he didn’t show it. He wanted to be someone important to Newt – not just an annoying colleague. But Newt had someone important now. Hermann missed his chance and that was the point why he was enraged about himself. Was he jealous? Hermann blocked that thought out.

Newt started talking. Hermann looked at him. He tried to seem uninvolved and steady but inside he was curios and kind of afraid of what was about to come.

“Look…” he began while he scratched the back of his head. “I think we should pull oursevles together and get more… well…friendly with each other. I like you, Herm, really. I really enjoy arguing with you. But well, maybe we shouldn’t treat each other like we hate each other. I really don’t.”

Hermann was confused. Thit wasn’t quite what that he had expected.  
Newt seemed like he began to struggle with the words. What was first quite precise now got a little bit loose.  
“I mean…. I know I can be slightly annoying sometimes, I now, and I will try better, but you can also be a pain in the ass sometimes and getting too grumpy… But I think… We shall behave like what we are! We’re a team! And I was told we are even a great team ! And maybe… we could cling to that and… well… some day… We’ll be even friends! … Whatcha sayin’? “

Hermann was speechless. Clearly speechless. He couldn’t hide his pure surprise.  
Newt seemed to notice this and asked “No? So bad?”  
For a moment Hermann just could stare at Newt. At this man he had worked together for so long now. His face with the green eyes behind this glasses. This messy hair that just looked too good on him. His arms gestured all the time while takling but now hung simply down. Hermann's look got to the tattoos. Damn it he even liked them. He felt his face going red.

“No…” Hermann got out finally. “Not bad at all.”  
Newt looked confused but than he said cheerfully “Really? That’s…. That’s cool dude!”  
Hermann needed to let that sink. He decided to clear the situation.  
“You said you would try better not to be so annoying anymore. I would like that.”

Newt blinked and leaned his head. His happiness about his apparent victory had deminished within a second.  
Hermann thought about how he would had left such a situation like that before. Letting Newt behind with disappointment, anger and confusion, annoyed by his pain in the ass lab partner. But… Not anymore Hermann thought to himself.  
Hermann smirked at Newt. That was something he never did before.  
Newt recognized that. The smiling came back to his face. He rose his eyebrows and asked with his facial expression if he understood right, unbelieving.  
Hermann nodded. Still smiling. His heartbeat hammered in his ear.  
Newt finally replied, fully eased. “Yeah… cool!”

They got back to their work. Hermann watched Newt going back to his kaiju samples. He felt his face blushing. Now Hermann wasn’t angry anymore at all. But absolutely confused.


	3. Hermann's Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermann tries to handle his feelings for Newt.
> 
> May leaves for her work at the Australian Shatterdome.

During this whole day Hermann had huge problems to focus on his work. Evertime possible he threw a glance at Newt. He was careful that his partner would not see it - but at one time their eyes accidentally met. Hermann tried to smile without looking frightened. Newt just smiled softly, nodded and continued working. Hermann face went red after that.  
Hermann could not concentrate. Everytime he gazed at Newt he got stunned. Him standing there in his black buttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up and his hands deep down in kaiju entrails – made Hermann got nervous. What is wrong with you? He asked himself.  
He remembered their first time meeting. Hermann was so damn exited to finally meet his pen pal. But he imagined something so different from Newt. He didn’t know what he expected – but he knew that his whole appearance and attitude threw him down. In a negative way back then. But within their time of working together Hermann adapted to Newt. And with every year in a more positive way. 

But these feelings that Hermann felt right now were totally new. He wanted to be good with him for a long while now, yes and yes, he always had a slightly strange feeling imagining Newt together with May. But he never would have thought that he would be…jealous? Damn, what’s wrong with you? He thought again.

Then suddenly he noticed Newt leaving his work place and coming into his direction. Hermann cleared his throat.  
“I need to go to the secondary labor with this sample. I will take a bit of time – sooo you just know.” Newt held a glass with a sample in his hands and gestured to the door on Hermann’s side of the room. Behind that and a short hallway was a tiny additional lab where they had a few apparatuses which are rarely used. But they were still needed.  
“Oh Ok.” Hermann brought out. Newt smirked at him and made his way to the door. Hermann watched him leaving the lab and the door closing.  
Hermann breathed out instantly. Finally alone. He felt like he could relax for a moment now.  
Turning to his chalkboard he tried to shake off the tightness that had covered him watching Newt all day. He tried to became clear and remainded steady for a few moments. He took a look at his watch. After an hour or so he was able to leave this lab behind for today and to calm down in his room. He looked forward to it – he had to think about a lot…

Then there was a knock at the lab entrance door. “Yes?” Hermann said out loud and the door opended.  
A small shock ran through Hermann’s body when suddenly May entered the lab. That was something he didn’t need right now. What was she doing here? He tried to brace himself together and cleared his throat again.  
“Miss Cooper.” He said as professionally as he could.  
“ Dr. Gottlieb!” May said kindly. She smiled nicely at him. That helped Hermann to become clear. She was such a nice person. He could not be mad with her. All of this – his confusion and all - wasn’t her fault. It was Hermann’s own.  
May came towards him. Hermann saw that she threw a gaze around the lab – surely looking for Newt. But she didn’t ask for him right away. She approached Hermann’s work place in front of the chalkboard.  
“What brings you down here, Miss Cooper?” Hermann asked instead of waiting for her asking.  
“Ah well…” She leaned her head and seemed liked she was poundering about what to say.  
May had been in this lab before a lot of times. A few times visiting Newt, but mostly with Tendo Choi in order to look up their tech. Hermann always liked her. She was smart. Also she had always tried to come up to a talk with Hermann and she always was truy interested in what Hermann was saying. She was cute. Hermann understood why Newt….  
“I guess… in first place I have to say goodbye.” May said with a sigh.  
“What?” Hermann couldn’t hold it back.  
“Yeah, well, I have to travel to the Shatterdome in Sydney. Me and a few colleagues are needed there for some maintenance. There seems to be a problem they can’t fix alone.”  
Hermann first was perplex. But then he understood. Such problems always needed to be taken care of immediately. And May was a great technican. Hermann knew she was unique with her knowledge and skills.  
“But why do you come to me?” Hermann said without noticing he was saying it out loud. He felt his face blushing. He knew that she had come for Newt for sure. He didn’t know where this came from. “Oh, sorry... I… I didn’t mean to…” He spluttered.  
May looked puzzled. Then she grinned “No, it’s ok! Sure I want to say goodbye to you, too, but you’re right… as always, Dr. Gottlieb.” She said friendly with a tiny laugh in it.  
Now May began to blush. She looked around again. Like she didn’t know already Hermann thought.  
“Is… Is Newt not here?” She asked raising an eyebrow as she turned to Hermann again.  
Hermann’s throat stretched together. He wondered what he could answer. Maybe that he was gone already? That he was tired or sick and already went to his room? Hermann shook his inner head. Where did this come from again? Is this jealousy, to think something like that? Why?  
“Newton is in the secondary lab to examine a sample.” He pointed at the door. “Feel free to go there.” Hermann said friendly. He just hoped now he didn’t have to see them together today into the bargain. He would go to his room right after she went to the tiny lab.  
But May hesitated and looked to the door and then back to Hermann.  
“No it’s ok. I don’t want to disturb him.” She was professional. Now Hermann had even more respect for her. He thought about how distracted he was today because of his feelings. And she…  
She pondered.  
“ Can I ask you a favor?” She went with the hand through her fringe. Hermann noticed the bracelet on her wrist now for the first time. He never saw it on her before. He had an idea where it was from and breathed in.  
“Sure.” Hermann replied regardlessy.  
“I leave in a few hours.” May began. “I… I still need to pack my bags. Would you tell Newt?”  
May asked with soft sound in her voice.  
Hermann blinked. “Yes, sure.” He said. He felt his heart beating in his chest. He had a question on the tip of his tounge. Should I tell Newton to come to your room? He thought.  
May gazed at him. ”Thank you.”  
Her grey eyes looked directly into his. Hermann fought to hold this question back. He won.

Then May looked to the door of the secondary lab, staring “I hope I see him before I leave.” She said with a weary voice. Hermann swallowed. He could hear the love in her voice. Simple and clean. He imagined Newt and May together and his heart ached. But he shook all this thoughts of the day away for something he truly meant.

“Newt will come to you right after he finished. He never would let you leave without saying goodbye.” Hermann’s voice sounded warm and caring. May looked at him, kinda mixed.  
But then her face lighted up to a beautiful smile. Looking at Hermann she moved her lips saying Thank You silently. Hermann gave her a nod, smiling aswell.  
She turned away and made her way out of the lab. By leaving she looked back at Hermann. “Goodbye, Dr. Gottlieb.”  
“Goodbye, May.” Hermann said and May smirked. Almost the way Newt always did - which Hermann liked so much. She closed the door and was gone.

That was the very last time he saw May.

 

....

 

Newt was in such a good mood this day he almost whistled on his way to the secondary lab.

He didn’t expect that it would end up so good talking with Hermann. They worked so calmly together today, though not talking that much yet, but it felt better than before, for sure. Hermann even smiled at him! Newt never thought that this would be possible.  
He pondered that he owed May something special for this. She had been right about that, always. May… Yes, Newt could say that he was really really happy by now – he thought - as happy as you could be considerig the world outside the Shatterdome.  
Newton thought about the future. Finding a way to fight the Kaiju, finding a way to understand them, ending the war, holding May inside his arms, moving together, marriyng, having children… Oh man he thought. Time to come down again. But it all seemed so close. And now knowing having Hermann as a good friend with him – fighting this war with him by his side. It felt that some kind of burden had been taken from his shoulders.  
When he got back to the main lab his partner was still standing in front of his chalkboard. Hermann was writing on it and turned his head as Newt walked in.  
He looked kind of fluttered and blinked at him like he got something to say.  
“Newton!” Hermann began.  
“Yeah…. What’s up dude?” Newton frowned.  
Hermann cleared his throat as Newt arrived at Hermann’s board.  
“May was here.” He said.  
Newt looked at his colleague, quite surprised. “What? Why?” He knew that it might have sounded strange but he was too surprised – more about …WAS here. Why did she go already?  
“She wanted to see you. She has to leave tonight for helping out at the Shatterdome in Sydney.”  
“Whaat?” Newt asked but walked around Hermann to get to his side of the lab. He pondered. “When?” He asked turning back to Hermann. Newt’s surprise rapidly turned to dumpishness- imagining May will be gone for a while now. After the last night. He had been very exited seeing May again all day - now that they were actually together and were secure about their love. And now this. This was so cruel.  
“She said in a few hours. It’s been almost an hour she had been here.”  
“Why didn’t she come over to me to the lab?”  
“She didn’t want to disturb you.”  
Newt breathed out.  
Quite now he noticed that Hermann actually didn’t know about him and May yet. Or did he know now? Newt looked at Hermann and he replied with a neutral look on his face – friendly but neutral. What should he say? Hey I’m right away to see my girlfriend, bye dude!? He wanted to go right now, he didn’t know how much time he had left. But…  
“Yeah…Ok, weeeell I’m… “ Newt spluttered. He looked at the mess on his desk. Well, even if he wasn’t aware of telling Hermann, this mess had to be tidied up first, it was his chaos here.  
“Just go.” Hermann said suddenly.  
“Wha’ ?” Newt frowned. He couldn’t believe what he just heard.  
Hermann rolled his eyes.  
“I’ll take care of this mess here and clean up alone. Go to May. I’m sure you want to see her.”  
These words came out so confident and clear that Newton was even more surprised. Hermann knew. All the time?  
“But..” Newton looked at Hermann completely puzzled. He leaned his head.  
“…How do you know?”  
Hermann smirked. “You have to be blind not seeing this.”  
“Wha’?” Newt shook his head. Then he became clear. Hermann was his friend, after all. He probably always had been kind of and always had cared in his inner. That gave Newt a strange warm feeling. Newton looked at the cane Hermann was leaning on.  
“You’re sure? I.. mean.. with cleaning up alone? I mean, I’ll do it in the morning, I will…”  
“For god’s sake, Newton, just go.” Hermann said sharply.  
Newt jumped at this sound. He grabed his jacket und went to the door. But then he turned again gazing at Hermann. “Thanks, dude.” He tried to say it as true as he could. He really was very thankfull, for everthing that happened right now.

Hermann blinked and nodded. Newt left the lab almost running to get to May.

 

....

 

Hermann remained in the lab. His nerves were all on edge. He had taken all of his together to do it the way he had done it right now.  
During the hour of May’s leaving and Newt’s arrival he had made up his mind about everything. What he will say. How he will say it.  
Hermann became clear about a lot while he planned this in his mind. 

He sure had had the option to not telling Newt about May at all. To avoid their meeting before May will leave. Newt would have been terribly sad and mad why May would not tell him. May would have been extremely disappointed for being forgotten by Newt. This scenario was so cruel that Hermann was frightened by the power of his jealousy. Yes jealousy. Hermann was sure. He had feelings for Newt. Strong feelings that had already left the area of frienship. He wondered how long he actually felt that way – but he would think about that later. He was too exhautsed right now.

Because – he was sure he liked Newt, a lot, actually loved him, and this was the reason he couldn’t do such a cruel thing to them – to him. He decided to tell Newt and encourage him. No matter how hard it was for him. Newt found love and he deserved it. It was hard in a world like this and it wasn’t Newt’s fault that Hermann was in love with him. So Hermann would help them – help him.

Hermann was tired. It demanded a lot of strenght to act in front of Newt like this. He felt his heart hurt in his chest. Hermann just wanted to go to bed now and sleep.  
But he had to tidy up the lab first – as much as possible. Newt wouldn’t mind if it will not be cleaned perfectly. A thought about Newt and May being together at this very moment came up into his mind. He blocked it out. Hermann wouldn’t allow himself to drive himslef mad.

After half an hour Hermann was able to leave. He made his way to his room and as he reached it he breathed in and out deeply after closing the door behind him. He let fall himself down on his bed and let his cane fall down next to his bed. His eyes were warm and heavy. Hermann decided to close them.

 

....

 

As Newt reached May’s room he was almost kinda out of puff. He breathed in and out a few times to calm his breathing. Then he knocked.  
The door opened up almost immediately and May looked at him with relief. She let herself fall into his arms. He was so eased that he made it in time that he slung his arms around her intensely.

For a moment they stood like this in the hallway – embracing each other. They truly missed each other during the day.  
“When do you have to leave?” Newt asked.  
“In quite 2 hours.” May said sadly. She let go of him. “Tendo said it to me this morning. I tried to finish my work today as fast as possible to have some time with you. But somehow it went not that way I wanted to…” She exlpained with anger about herselft in her voice. It was almost 8 pm today.  
“It’s ok.” Newt said to cheer her up. “We’ve got some time now.” He swabbed her fringe out of her face and gently touched her cheek. “Besides… We will have a lot of time in the future. Because I’m not planning to ever let go of you when you’re back here.”  
May beamed at him, staring into his eyes. In this moment Newt actually could not imagine letting her go in 2 hours.  
May kissed him as an affirmation. Then Newt took her by the hands and dragged her softly into her room. Newt took a look around. She had already packed her bags.  
He tried to bear down the sadness he felt for May leaving so soon and turned to her smiling. He wanted to fully enjoy the time they still had.

They sat together on her bed. Newton sat at the bed-head and leaned against the wall, May laid in his arms against his chest. With his legs tucked up and embracing May from behind he felt secure and happy. They had sat that way the whole time – just holding each other. They talked, like they always did after a day during their dinner in the canteen. That’s a lot more comfortable Newt thought to himself a bit smiling. He noticed that he - they didn’t eat but he did not mind and he thought so did she.  
Newt pondered if he should tell her what he thought the day earlier, how he imagined their future. By now, he was thinking about it aswell. Well, he said it earlier in a different way. And he didn’t want to make this all even harder only by saying something like that. He would take her to the helicopter in quite 15 minutes, so…  
“I talked to Hermann today. About what you said, that we’re a good team and should stop fighting all the time, you know? I almost forgot to tell you!” Newt began to tell instead.  
“You did?” May turned around to look at him.  
“Yeah, I just thought it was time to clear the situation between us. And I think he took it very well. He even smirked at me, can you imagine that?!”  
“Yeah, that sounds great!” She grinned and kinda looked eased. “So you decided to listen to me, eh?”  
“I thought it would be a nice alternation!” Newt countered.  
“You bet.” May said raising an eyebrow.  
Newt gazed at her. She looked so cute right now, he didn’t want to let her go. He kissed her. She put her palms on his cheeks and pressed her lips at his aswell. The bracelet on her wrist jingled.  
Newt lifted his lips from hers. “So… you were teased about this embarrassing bracelet today, were you?” He asked with a smirk.  
“All day.” May replied grinning. “But even so… I never would take it off.” She gave him a short kiss on his lips.  
“….It’s time…”She said sadly.  
“Yeah,… ok.”

Newt brought her to the hanger of the Shatterdome. The helicopter was prepared to start and with Newt and May another colleague appeared at the same time to make the group complete then.  
Tendo was also there directing and taking leave to everyone.  
May looked at the helicopter and then to Newt. They were standing a few meters away from that still.  
“It will just take a few days I think.” She said with a smirk. She acted confident.  
Newt touched her shoulders and looked her in the eyes.  
“I’ll be waiting right here when you come back.”He smiled. He tried to give her the most positive feeling in this moment even it was hard how much he wanted her to stay now.  
“…and be right there getting on your nerves again!” He added laughing. He nerver did. Both knew that. But May welcomed this coltish goodbye.  
“I can’t wait for it. I love you.” May said.  
“I love you, too.” Newt answered and kissed her gently. He tried to keep this moment for a while. Just to keep this in his heart to survive the coming days.  
Suddenly they could hear soundful breath-outs from their colleagues by the helicopter. They had watched them obviously. Now they were all smiling- but in a nice way – like they granted that Newt and May. They didn’t say a word. Newt and May smiled at each other.  
“Bye.” May said and made her way to the helicopter.  
“Bye…” Newton replied.  
Tendo met her halfway, shook her hand and also told her goodbye. Then Tendo joined Newt watching the helicopter start.  
As it was already in the air Tendo turned to Newt. “Sorry, pal. It’s an urgent situation in Australia.”

Newt leaned his head and smiled at Tendo. Tendo just had needed one millisecond to get the whole situation for sure. “Don’t say sorry, dude. It’s alright. It’s not like forever.”

Tendo gave Newt a pat on his back. “You’re lucky, my friend.” Tendo smiled at him then he turned away by saying: “I’ll tell you personally when I know when they arrive here again!” “Thanks.” Newt replied. Tendo waved at Newt and left.

Newt threw a last glance at the helicopter leaving. He smiled. Then he decided to get to sleep already.


	4. Good News

May looked outside the window and watched the Shatterdome getting smaller. It was hard to spot it in the darkness of the night and the sea. Then, almost suddenly, it vanished out of her view. She knew it was childish, but she missed Newt already. She pondered if she should have said something more before leaving. Not only that she loved him. But she knew that she couldn’t put her whole feelings in words. That was just impossible at the moment. And it would have made it even harder to leave. So it was ok the way it was she thought.  
She turned away from the window towards her colleagues and noticed that they were watching her. All three gazed at her, smiled and waited – for explanations and details. Sarah, the other woman in this helicopter, almost grinned. 

She was the one that finally began to talk as May didn’t say anything.  
“So… You and Newt, huh?” Sarah asked wide grinning and raising her eyebrows.  
“Erm, yeah.” May replied. Me and Newt she thougth. That sounded good.  
Right after May gave the confirm Sarah screamed out: “I knew it! I knew it all the time!” She looked at Brian and Mark. “We all knew it, right?”  
Both nodded and smiled whimsically.  
“Bad luck that we’re away from here just now, there is a bet I need to cash.” Mark said sighing.  
“You’re serious?!” May asked unbelieving.  
“Yeah.” Mark replied shrugging his shoulders. “It was pretty obvious.”  
May didn’t know what to say. She knew that a few people had this idea for a while, but making bets? May couldn’t hold herself back and started to smile aswell.  
“You guys are just…” May couldn’t find any words.  
“Brilliant? All knowing?” Brian teased. May shook her head grinning.  
Then Brian leanded towards her.  
“I’m speaking for everyone here I think when I say that we’re very happy for you.” He said softly. The other ones just nodded and smiled on.  
“Thank you, guys.” May said. She felt a little bit better now.

“Let’s take care of this job in Syndey fast so we’re back as soon as possible!” Sarah challenged everyone while smiling at May.  
“Yep.” Mark said raising a thumb. So did Brian.  
May nodded. She looked outside the window again. She couldn’t see anything besides the dark sea. I’ll be right here waiting for you Newt said in her mind. May smiled.  
She was looking forward to it.

...

 

As Newt came awake in the morning he only had one single feeling - Hunger.  
His stomach growled loudly because of the lack of food supply during the last evening. Newt was a good eater -without looking like this - so it was conceivable that his body was lusting for it now.

He got up and got dressed. In the night he really missed May. He would have given anything having her beside him. But Newt tried to keep his mood up by looking forward to the day she will be back.

So he made his way to the canteen. As he got there, he looked around. Newt decided to take his breakfast to the lab. He filled a plate to the max with toast and scrambled eggs. Newt was already on his way out of the canteen when he had a thought. He went back and got a cup of coffee. For Hermann. Newt liked to drink coffee in general, too, but today he just didn’t need it. Hermann might already had a coffee today but Newt wanted to do something good for his partner.  
On his way to the lab he remembered what Hermann did for him the last day. Encouraging him in going to May immediatley,cleaning up the lab on his own.… Newt was touched. Hermann really was a good friend. Newt wanted to return the favor someday.  
When Newt arrived in the lab Hermann wasn’t there yet. He placed the food and coffee and looked at the clock on his desk. Actually Hermann was always there at this time. This was pretty unusual for him. Newt asked himself if he had to worry about his partner. But Newt thought that he might caught up the sleep he missed for cleaning up here late in the evening. So he decided to wait.

Right after Newt finished these thoughts Hermann entered the lab.  
“Hermann!” Newt couldn’t hide his easing. “Good morning! I almost sent out a search detachment!”  
Hermann almost scuffled through the lab. He looked totally tired, leaning on his cane with every step, like he didn’t sleep at all.  
“Good Morning, Newton.” Hermann said in a weary tone. He didn’t look Newt in the face. It seemed he looked around him.  
“Damn, you look terribly tired. Are you ok?” Newt needed to ask. Hermann looked awful.  
Hermann finally looked at him as he approached the desk Newton was standing at. His eyes were red.  
“I’m fine.” Hermann said while waving his hand like he wanted to get rid of that question.  
Newt actually wanted to aks if Hermann was sure, but he kept it inside.  
“Well, okay… I brought you some coffee. I think you could use this right now, don’t you?”  
“Yes. Thank you, Newton.” Hermann replied. He didn’t make any eye contact with Newt at all. Newt was pondering what could be wrong with him. He couldn’t hold it back anymore.  
“You’re sure you’re okay? Are you so worn out because of yesterday? Because of cleaning up here alone? I was really thankful for this, really, but if I knew… you shouldn’t have…”  
“It’s ok, Newton!” Hermann snapped and cut him off.  
Newt was kinda shocked about this sudden harsh tone. He couldn’t understand what he did wrong. Though he was very worried, Newt knew that he shouldn’t badger Hermann so much.

He decided to leave Hermann for himself for now and turned away.

...

 

Hermann leaned on his cane looking down at the desk while Newton turned away. His glance catched the coffee mug on the desk which Newt had brought for him. Hermann could start crying again by seeing this.  
He had cried a lot last night. As he fell in his bed in the evening he slept for quite an hour. Then he awaked from a bad dream and couldn’t sleep anymore. He had dreamed about Newt, May and himself. Not much like a nightmare, rather he re-lived through the real present. Which was some kind of nightmare to him. He began to cry and couldn’t stop himself. When one wave finally ebbed, the next wave was about to follow. Until the morning when his alarm went. Hermann could barely drag himself to the lab because he knew what would await him. Newt. A happy Newt. Happy about his life and his love. Hermann just couldn’t stand this.

But he also could not stand hurting Newt like he had done right now.  
“Newton…” Hermann began without looking up at him.  
Newt turned to him again. He didn’t say anything, just waited.  
“I’m sorry. I… couldn’t sleep tonight. It was not because of the cleaning up, so don’t worry.” Hermann forced his powers to look at Newt, who actually looked worried.  
“And thank you for the coffee.” Hermann ended and hoped Newt would be satisfied with this.  
He wasn’t.  
“Herms, you look terrible, man. What’s wrong?” Newt asked in such a lovely tone that Hermann’s heart ached immediately. That he even used a nickname didn’t allay this circumstance.  
Hermann breathed in deeply.  
“Newton, I don’t wanna talk about it. Please respect that. It’s something I wouldn’t tell anyone, if it makes you feel better.”  
“This doesn’t make me feel better at all, Herms.” He replied at once. But then he fixated Hermann and pondered.  
“Ok, dude. I’ll respect that. But, really, when you want to talk about it, at any time, you should know I’ll be there for you.” He said softly. 

That was the moment when Hermann just wanted to let go of everything and telling Newt all about his feelings, his pain, his love. But he couldn’t live with the consequences. Not for now.  
So he dragged himself together to just nod at Newt and smiled.  
Newt replied with a careful smile, he was still worried. But he seemed ok with it at the moment.  
“Thank you, Newton.” Hermann brought out and he hoped it was over now.  
Newt nodded and turned away to go to his working place.  
Hermann went to his desk and chalkboard.  
They spent the whole day working for their own, almost silent.  
It was good for Hermann. He had time to relax in his inner and to make up his mind about the future. He knew that this – this horrible night and his snapping at Newt just because he felt awful - wasn’t allowed to happen again. But he was sure that this was an exception. The last day was just horrible. And if he had a really bad day in the future, he would play sick and stay in his room. But something like this wouldn’t happen again, he hoped.

Hermann needed to learn how to cope with everything, especically with Newt. He wanted his friendship as much as he wanted anything. But it was hard for him to keep some distance, considering Newt would do the definite opposite from now on.  
Hermann needed to keep one thought through everything.  
He wanted Newt to be happy. Because he loved him. Nothing more, nothing less.  
He had experienced how it felt to love Newt, to be his friend and lab partner and to support Newt’s love towards May.  
That didn’t work for him, at least for now. It would get better Hermann thought.  
But for now he needed to keep some distance again. Somehow.

It made him terribly sad – but he had to.

...

 

The first two days with May being away ran fast. Newt tried to concentrate on his work to the fullest. There was plenty of work to be done anyway, so it was quite easy. Easy to not longing for May. Easy not to wonder what the fuck was wrong with Hermann.

Herman became quite restained. Rather different from the first day Newt talked to him about their way with each other. Hermann was friendly, and they hadn’t fought, but Newton had a feeling that something was between them, something that held Hermann back.  
Newt planned to talk with him again, but this time as a real friend. There must be something Hermann coped with. Maybe Newt could help him.  
But for now he just worked. And waited.

In the evening of the third day the crew around May in Sydney finally made a call.  
Newt and Hermann were still working when Tendo came into the lab. He greeted them with a tiny wave in both directions of their seperated work places.  
“Good news, man!” He came directly towards Newt.  
Newt trembled. He hoped Tendo would say what he wanted to hear. “Yeah?”  
“Yep, our crew in Sydney just gave us confirm for their departure today. May and the others fixed the problem. I never had a doubt about that, your lady is the best.” Tendo said with glee.  
Newt stopped working and pulled his hands out of the kaiju entrails. While taking his gloves off and cleaning his hands he asked “When will they arrive?”.  
Tendo hesitated. “I think they arrive tonight between 2 am and 4 am. It’s hard to say because of the weather conditions.”  
Newt couldn’t hide his joy. He had hoped May would get back soon, but this was really fast. Like she said, just a few days. He trembled a bit more.  
“That sounds great!” Newt replied to Tendo.  
Tendo nodded.  
“How’s the situation down here?” Tendo asked and addressed the question to Hermann, too.  
“According to the circumstances.” Hermann replied from his side of the lab.  
“Yeah.” Newt said. Newt decided to ask what he and Hermann were thinking about a while now.

“The situation worsened, right? For Pentecost and the PPDC and the Jaeger in general?” Newt asked with a covered voice.  
Tendo blinked and pondered what he should reply. But then he nodded.  
“Yes, you’re right… The people get scared and hopeless more and more, with every kaiju attack. You heard about the Kaiju Wall, don’t you? The government wants to focus on this project. They think the Jaeger programm is falling. We lost a lot of Jaeger the last two years and the kaiju become even stronger. The government decided to support the Wall instead of the Jaeger Programm. Pentecost is fighting against it as best a he can.”  
Tendo looked concerned. Newt and Hermann looked at him silently.  
“This is pretty bad.” Newt finally said. He couldn’t stand the silence any longer.  
“Yeah… “ Tendo said breathing out. “You see… The fact that the crew of the Shatterdome in Sydney wasn’t even able to fix the technical problems by itself… A lot of people turn away from the PPDC and the Jaeger Programm to support the Wall…”  
Tendo stopped talking. He said enough Newt thought. Everything was getting worse.  
“We’ll stay here.” Hermann suddenly said loud and confident. He looked at Newt, sligthly smiling.  
Newt smiled back. Yes they were a team. Whatever might come.  
“You betcha!” Newt said. He was kinda eased about this act of his partner.  
Tendo smiled. “Never had a doubt about that.” He said “Sorry, but I must go.”

Tendo turned away towards the door. By leaving the lab Tendo turned to Newt again.  
“So you’ll accompany me tonight in the hanger while I’ll wait for the crew to arrive?” He asked with a smirk.  
“Meet you there!” Newt said happily. 

After Tendo left Newt turned to Hermann.  
“Nice of you that you said that, Hermann.” Newt wanted to test Hermann’s mood.  
“I just spoke the truth.” Hermann replied shortly. But he sounded friendly and more relaxed. Whatever Hermann coped with didn’t stress him out so much anymore Newt thought.  
Hermann looked at Newt , nodded and continued working.

Newt kept on looking an Hermann. He pondered and then suddenly was catched by an idea.  
He made his way over to Hermann.


	5. The Bracelet

Hermann raised his head up from his desk as Newt walked over to him. He breathed in deeply to prepare. During the last few days he somehow made it to relax a little bit more, piece by piece, everyday. He could cope with his feelings for Newt now, well, as good as possible. He made himself clear, built himself up again and was now able to let Newt get back near to him. That was the reason he was able to say it when Tendo was there. We’ll stay here. We. He wanted to show Newt that they were a team, partner, friends, and give him a little positive sign. Hermann had been very quite the last days, of course, he just had to, and he noticed that Newt was… sad, maybe or rather confused, about Hermann’s behavior.  
But he wouldn’t have expected that Newt would instantly catch this nice touch of Hermann as an opportunity to talk to him even more. Hermann stayed calm, he waited for Newt to approach at him.  
“You know what, Hermann? I think today I am going to tidy up here alone. So I can return the favor, at last. Whatcha sayin?’”  
Newt smiled at him and his green eyes looked directly into Hermann’s.  
“Return the favor?” Hermann asked and frowned. He wasn’t sure what Newt meant.  
“As you stayed here and tidied up by yourself…. As I went earlier to see May.” Newt said with laughter in his voice like he couldn’t believe Hermann forgot that.  
Hermann understood now. Of course, he didn’t forget that – how could he? – but he never had in mind that Newt maybe wanted to do something good for him in change for that act of friendship. Or rather act of love.  
“Oh, I see. No it’s ok, you don’t have to.” Hermann replied.  
“Why not? Let me do this for you.” Newt insisted. “It’s gonna be a long night for me anyway, so I can use this time to tidy up here and to disburden you a little bit!” He explained.  
‘Sure’ Hermann thought. Newt wanted to wait and stay up until May arrived, anyway.  
First he felt a small stitch in his heart – that Newt just had the idea because of this situation – that he just needed a distraction from waiting. But then Hermann thought that Newt also could just go to his room after working here with him and just could give a damn about Hermann. He didn’t. Apparently he had this idea right after Tendo had left. Newt wouldn’t leave him behind. Not at all. Newt wanted to be Hermann’s friend, even with knowing May coming back soon, Newt cared about him.  
Hermann had a strange warm feeling running through his body. Not like his confused, pulling, back-breaking, deep emotions of love and distress. Just a soft touch of friendship. Newt was his friend. And Hermann could be Newt’s. And Hermann could be okay with that. He had an idea.  
“I don’t know how eager you are cleaning this room all by yourself, but I’d rather work here a few hours more today and join you cleaning up and waiting.” Hermann said and he was surprised how well these words came out of his mouth.  
Newt’s expression was normal at first but then his jaw dropped down.  
“You… You’re serious? You wanna wait with me tonight?!” Newt asked, totally surprised, smiling, blinking hasty.  
“You rather want to be alone, instead?” Hermann asked raising an eyebrow. He asked just because he wanted to tease Newt a little bit. Newt apparently liked the idea.  
“No! No no no, really, that’s cool. That’s a really nice move from you, man. Well, I guess I just…” ‘Didn’t expect that’ Hermann ended Newt’s sentence in his mind.  
Hermann looked at his watch. “It’s 7 pm now.”  
Newt leaned his head and waited for Hermann to continue.  
“What about dinner now before we go on working?” Hermann asked.  
“Yeah… Yeah, dude, that’s cool!” Newt said, still disbelieving but happy.  
“Then… let’s go.” Hermann ended and made his way out of the lab.  
Newt let go a cheery sigh and followed.  
Hermann’s heart pounded hard against his chest. But it didn’t ache. He looked forward to this night, to share some time with Newt. His friend.

…

 

Newt adapted his pace to Hermann’s while they were walking their way down to the canteen. Newt didn’t mind of course, besides he actually used the time to look at Hermann, while he was so concentrated about walking with leaning on his cane. Newt had told him a few times in their years together that Hermann didn’t need to rush, but he always insisted to try as fast as he could. Newt didn’t say anything today, knowing the comeback. He just walked beside him and gazed at him. 

Newt still couldn’t believe what Hermann offered to him. And the thought of spending the evening with Hermann gave him a feeling he could’t explain. It was not the feeling of being happy about being with his friend, being with Hermann he finally came along with so well, being with his partner and lab mate… No, there was something different. Newt felt some kind of pull towards Hermann. Could this fiendship affect him so much almost insantly? And he was kinda… nervous? Newt shook his head and put these thoughts aside. All this was just totally new.

In the canteen they got their meals and sat down at an empty table. There weren’t a lot of other people this evening. It was Friday and most of their colleagues went out on Fridays. So only a few people could witness this wonder of Newton Geiszler and Hermann Gottlieb having dinner together.They didn’t talk at first, both quite confused about the situation of eating together, both looking down at their food in front of them.  
Newt tried to come up with something he could talk about, but - totally untypical - he didn’t know what to say. He was thinking about May and he missed her like hell. He felt something like a constant shook of impatience humming inside him. He just couldn’t wait to see her again. But Newt thought that he should not talk about her, he didn’t know why.  
Then Hermann suddenly began to talk.  
“This is truly a ridiculous bracelet you gave her. She really DOES love you wearing this in public.” He said without looking up from his plate.  
Newt was perplex. “What? How do you…? When did you…?” He stuttered. But then Newt remembered that May talked to Hermann on the day she left. He noticed it. And had known, right after he had seen it, that it was a gift from Newt. That it had to be from Newt.  
Hermann looked up. First he had a dry look on his face but then it turned into a little smirk and he shook his head.  
“Well,… you know…that was…” Newt stuttered on. He searched for the best comeback. “C’mon, don’t be so mean! It wasn’t planned to end up for a gift you actually give to your girlfriend.” Newt tried to explain. Hermann frowned, half smiling, and shook his head again. Newt gave up and lifted his hands with a sigh.  
Then Newt saw that Hermann’s face changed and he looked down. It seemed like he pondered about something. Newt frowned.  
After a pause Hermann asked: “How does something like that happen? To… suddenly realize being in love with someone you know for so long?”  
This question surprised Newt. He didn’t expect that Hermann would stick to the May-subject. And Newt wouldn’t have said that he and May know each other so incredibly long. What was it? A year? Not quite long like he and Hermann did.  
Hermann looked at him in a stern and slightly asking way. He really wanted to know, it wasn’t just a phrase.  
“Well…” Newt began and reasoned. He didn’t know how to explain it at first but then a quote from Scully from X-files came to his mind. Maybe it was kinda stupid to quote this but Hermann didn’t know the show anyway. And it was exactly his explanation.  
“You know, you look at a person you know so well, you see her everyday, and then someday, you look at that person again and… you see something more then you did the day before. And suddenly this person is only one you can ever imagine yourself with.”  
Hermann eyes went away again, it seemed like he wasn’t looking at something, just away from Newt. Newt cleared his throat. “Well, I know this sounds, well…stange, but…”  
Hermann looked at him with a little smile “No. It is not stange. I understand. I understand this pretty good.”

….

Hermann swallowed and looked down again at his plate.  
Newt frowned a bit about Hermann’s words and he hoped that Newt wouldn’t ask any further questions.  
But Hermann’s hopes were crashed right away.  
“You understand…?” Newt asked carefully.  
Hermann’s heart pounded heavily in his chest.  
“Yes?” Hermann brought out as confident as he could. “Feelings can change.” Hermann added and hoped that it would satisfy Newt for now.  
Newt seemed quite confused but then he raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, sure,… you’re right! That’s what I meant!” He laughed a little and then apparently decided to leave it at that.

After they finished dinner Newt and Hermann made their way back to the lab again. They remained predominantly quite during their work and the cleaning up afterwards. Hermann was slightly happy about that. Every now and then Hermann gazed over to Newt. Newt was obviously very nervous about seeing May again. He was kinda squirelly all the time and looked at the clock on the wall nearly every ten minutes. Hermann pondered if he should talk to him more and try to calm him down, but he decided that this would only worsen Newt’s condition. So Hermann tried to be a calm pole in the lab Newt could turn to, if he wanted to.

It was 2:15 when Newt asked Hermann to finally go and wait in the hanger. The crew should arrive in the next two hours, at the latest.  
On their way to the hanger Newt was even more nervous. His breath was unsteady and he fumbled at his bracelets, fluttering. Hermann had about 3 coffees during their work. Newt didn’t need any coffee. As he tried to pour some coffee into his mug, Hermann hit him with his cane.  
“Calm down.” Hermann said in a warm voice. He couldn’t stand seeing Newt being so twitchy.  
Newt looked at him, hastily blinking. “Hm?” Newt saw Hermann smiling at him.  
“Sorry, man. I’m just exited to see her again.” Newt said.  
Hermann had to laugh a little bit. “Yes, I see that.”  
He gave Newt a pat on the back and Newt smirked back at him. “Thanks, Herm.”

When they arrived the hanger nobody was there. Even Tendo who actually had to wait here wasn’t seen anywhere.  
“Where is Tendo?” Newt asked.  
“As if I would know.” Hermann said, but not in rude voice. Hermann was rather concerned.  
He looked at Newt who was still looking around.  
“He will be here in a minute I guess.” Hermann said to calm Newt down.  
They waited for about 20 minutes.

Then Hermann heard running in the hallway that led to hanger. He and Newt turned to the entrance.  
Tendo came around the corner, half running, with a look on his face that froze Hermann’s bones. It was a look that Hermann hadn’t seen on him yet, not in a single kaiju attack. Hermann had a really bad feeling about this.  
“What’s wrong, man? A kaiju attack? Where are the others?” Newt asked. Newt looked at him with concern.  
Tendo stopped in front of them, breathing heavily. He just looked at Newt, not at Hermann.  
“No…” Tendo said finally. “No kaiju attack. It’s… the helicopter with the crew. They…” Tendo lost his voice. He stared at Newt who stared right back at him. Tendo breathed in deeply, his face was in pain. “ There was… a leak. In the engine compartment somewhere… They…They were just in the center of the pacific ocean as they…crashed.” His last word was just a breath.  
Hermann’s body froze. His fingers grabbed around his cane so his knuckles turned white.  
Hermann looked over to Newt. What Hermann saw… broke his heart.

Newt’s eyes were wided with terror. He panted for air. He trembled as his eyes filled with tears. He frowned as he stuttered “H-How…? W-W-Why…?” Newt blinked firmly so that the tears started to roll down his cheeks. “D-Didn’t you send a rescue?!” Newt almost shouted.  
“We did! Of course! They’re on the way already! But…” Tendo hesitated. His voice was desperate. Hermann could see that Tendo’s eyes also filled. “I… I know that there was an explosion…There… May… she…” Tendo looked down, away from Newt, and sobbed. The last hope disappeared from Newt’s face.  
Hermann knew that there was no chance to survive something like this. The crew was dead. May was dead. Hermann couldn’t move anymore. He just trembled. So much that it hurt.  
First Newt took a step back. He face seemed being turned to stone and he became pale. New tears started to fill his eyes. But he didn’t blink.  
Then Newt suddenly went to go around Tendo and started to run out of the hanger.  
“Newt!” Hermann and Tendo shouted almost at once. But Newt was already gone.

Tendo took a step forward to follow Newt but Hermann held him back. With his hand on Tendo’s shoulders Hermann looked at him.  
“Don’t. I will look for him. You better go back to the LOCCENT.” Hermann said and tried to keep his voice firm.  
Tendo seemed to feel Hermann’s trembling. “Yes… Maybe he runs there, too?” Tendo said quietly.  
Hermann looked in the direction Newt fled. No. Newt knew that he couldn’t do anything there.  
“I don’t think so…” Hermann replied. But he had a guess. He let go of Tendo’s shoulder and he made his way to the LOCCENT.  
Hermann remained for a few seconds. He tried to shake his trembling away. As he was sure that he could walk without any risk, he started to find Newt.


	6. The Bracelet ( part 2 )

Newt ran. At first he didn’t know where. He just ran. His view blurred because his eyes were still filled with tears. His heart ached about his impulsive, uncontrolled and unbalanced running and breathing. And it ached about her.   
His first idea for his destination was the LOCCENT, to catch up contact with the rescue team. To do something. Anything. But then he slowly decreased his pace until he came still. Newt was standing in the hallway now, heavy breathing, sweating, crying. He noticed that he was clenching his fists so much that his nails bored into his hands.   
He couldn’t do anything. Nothing. Even if he was in the LOCCENT he probably even would restrain everyone in their work - because he would just randomly scream at everyone. He was desperate and out of his mind right now but he was sure about that… somehow. They were just looking for the wreck now. There was nothing he could do anymore. May was gone. Gone. The woman he loved. He never would hold her in his arms again.  
Newt started to walk and then to run again. He knew where he would head to. Not his room. He had a feeling that Tendo or even Hermann would follow him there to look for him. He headed to the lab. Maybe he could be alone and rest there for a while.  
His pace was slower now, but still running.  
His view didn’t improve yet, still blurry and foggy. His eyes burned. He realized that he was still sobbing, he couldn’t stop himself.  
At one crossbred he slipped and fell down on his arm and hip. Pain ran through his body. Slighty dizzy he came up to his feet again and after a short time he finally reached the lab.

The lab, he just left less than an hour ago, was totally different now. Everything was different. Himself was different.  
He sat down on the small couch they had in one corner of the lab. For the first time he ran his hands through his face and noticed that he was totally wet from sweat and tears. He was panting. And with every breath a whining sound followed.   
Newt grabbed a pillow and buried his face in it, regardless of his glasses. He tried to calm down. At least as much to finally be able to think again.  
After a few deep breaths he really did become more calm but only because of exhaustion. Maybe he would pass out in a few seconds he thought. Wouldn’t be bad. He wouldn’t be able to calm himself down anyway he thought.

Then Newt heard footsteps and the familiar clicking of a cane. He looked up and saw Hermann standing in the entrance of the lab. Newt’s view was still misty but he was sure that Hermann made his way over to him. With a mixed face of concern and sadness.   
“Newton.” Hermann said in the same concerned and sad sound his face would presume.  
Newt didn’t want so see him. Actually nobody.  
“Leave me alone, Hermann.”  
“I guessed that you would be here. That you wouldn’t go to your room because we would look for you there.” Hermann said. “Let me help you.”  
Newt didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to. He just felt that he was slowly loosing his temper.  
Hermann came closer. He looked uncertain. Sure. Human care. This wasn’t Hermann’s best field Newt thought.  
“I can only imagine how you must feel. I know that May…”  
“Don’t you dare to say her name!” Newt snapped Hermann off. He suddenly felt pure rage spreading through his whole body. He just wanted Hermann to stop. “ Don’t you dare to say anything anymore! You can only imagine how I feel? Yeah, guess what, maybe because you never would let someone get as close to you as to really miss them when they’re gone! You don’t even know what love is!” Newt shouted. He couldn’t hold himself back. These words were out before he could even think. And he didn’t care.

Hermann looked him in the eyes. He was visibly shocked about these harsh words and his head turned red.   
For a moment they remained silent. Newt was breathing deeply. He was ready for Hermann’s comeback. Ready to fight if he had to. Then the shock disappeared from Hermann’s face.

“I know what love is, Newton.” He said firmly.  
Newt blinked. He didn’t want to talk anymore. He stood up from the couch.  
“Yeah? Nice for you.” He said with rumble. He made his way past Hermann and roamed him at his shoulder.  
He went to his room with a fast walk now. He didn’t need to run anymore. Hermann would leave him alone, for now, he guessed. And even if not, he just wouldn’t open the door. Simple thing.

Newt could feel his anger ebbing away as closer he came to his room. But the bad tension remained. Every bad feeling remained. Grief, frustration, desperation, sorrow. It felt like everything good was gone. Gone together with May.  
After he could finally shut the door behind him he sunk down on his knees.

…

 

Hermann stayed in the empty lab. He didn’t make any move to try to follow Newt again. There was nothing he could do, Newt wouldn’t let him get close.  
Hermann sighed. He never felt so bad in this whole life. Helpless, confused, weary…heartbroken. The look on Newts face… the anger… ‘You don’t even know what love is’ Newt’s voiced lingered on in Hermann’s head. Hermann almost had lost control in this moment. To say that he knew what love is. Because he loved him. He was glad that he was able to hold it back. Hermann trembled.  
There was nothing left that he could do right now. The night didn’t hold anything good.

Hermann decided that it was for the best to go to sleep and went to his room.

 

In the morning he woke very early with an aching head and hip. The night had left its marks on his body. The long and trying day and evening. This awful night.  
Hermann got up, went under the shower and after he was dressed he took a painkiller. He pondered where he should start this morning.   
Should he go to Newt, looking for him, trying to talk to him? Hermann frowned while he was holding his door handle firmly.   
No. He decided to go to the LOCCENT first, to talk to Tendo before.  
As he approached in the LOCCENT Tendo wasn’t there. A worker told Hermann that he went to bed 2 hours ago. It was 7:30. But the rescue team salvaged the wreck. Tendo was supervising everything through the whole night. Surely he was going to sleep for a while now.  
“The whole wreck?” Hermann asked to make sure.  
The worker nodded. Hermann didn’t even know his name.  
“The bodies?” Hermann asked carefully.  
“Yeah…” the worker answered quietly. ‘What was left of them’ Hermann continued in his head.  
Hermann thanked him and made his way to Newts room.

As he approached Newt’s door he wasn’t sure anymore if he really should try to talk to him. Hermann couldn’t think of what kind of Newt he was going to talk to. Was he still enranged? Or did he calm down? He maybe could scream at Hermann again and maybe even attack him because Hermann apparently was slow on the uptake. Or he could fling his arms around Hermann’s neck, crying, sobbing, and be able to let Hermann take care of him. Hermann wasn’t sure. Everything could happen.  
He took a deep breath and knocked.  
No answer.  
“Newton?” Hermann knocked again.  
“Hermann.” Newt answered from the other side of the door. It sounded like he was standing directly behind it. “I told you to leave me alone.”  
Newts voice sounded calm, but not friendly. Hermann thought about what he should say.  
“I know.” Hermann started. “I just wanted to say that… I’m there for you. You can talk to me whenever you want, ok?”  
No answer.  
“I am going to leave you alone until then…”Hermann added.  
“Good.” Newt answered from inside his room. Then Hermann could hear footsteps. Newt went away from the door. Conversation finished.  
Hermann sighed quietly and left Newt’s door.

It was Saturday, so their day off actually. Considering the happenings of the last night, nobody in the Shatterdome would be forced to work anyway, just to do what must be done. It was a huge loss for the whole Shatterdome. Everyone he passed by looked sad or absent. On his way to the lab Hermann saw Stacker Pentecost walking past him, with narrowed eyes and pressed lips. Hermann didn’t dare to say anything. The whole atmospehre in the Shatterdome was cold and hurtful.  
Hermann went to the lab because he didn’t know where else to. Maybe he could distract himself a bit while working or archiving some of his documents. Truth be told - he just didn’t know what to do otherwise.

It was nearly noon when suddenly Tendo entered the lab. Hermann was drowned in his documents and jumped at the sounds of footsteps, thinking it could be Newt.

“Hermann.” Tendo said in a weary voice. He looked like death.  
Hermann just nodded towards him and waited for him to talk.  
Tendo glanced around the lab. “Where is he?”  
“In his room. He didn’t want to talk to me…”  
“Understandable.” Tendo looked down and sighed.  
They remained silent for a moment.  
“I was looking for you earlier. Your colleague told me about the night.” Hermann started again.  
“Yeah… It was…I..” Hermann could see that Tendos eyes slowly filled. He looked away and pondered about something. Then he looked at Hermann again. “When I feel like shit, how must Newt feel then?”  
“I can’t imagine.” Hermann admitted. He truly couldn’t. He never had lost someone precious. He tried to imagine how he would feel if he would lost Newt. But this was far too awful to think about it. “I.. I just don’t even know how to talk to him. How to treat him…”  
Tendo took a breath. “That’s why I’m here.” He made his way towards Hermann. “I’m quite eased that he’s not here, though. Because, well… I…don’t know..”  
As he stood in front of Hermann he pulled something out of his pocket. Hermann saw it and his guts turned. Tendo was holding the bracelet. The bracelet Newt gave to May. It hurt too badly to look at it.  
“Actually I wanted to give it to him. But I don’t know if I can.” Tendo admitted sadly. Hermann understood. Pretty good. But he felt like he could try.  
“I can take this. Maybe I’m able to find a moment for it.” Hermann said.  
Tendo blinked. “You’re sure?”  
“I am.” Hermann held out his hand.  
Tendo put the bracelet into Hermann’s hand. It was warm from the warmth of Tendos hands. He sighed. “One thing, though.” He swallowed hard.  
“What?”  
Tendo breathed in again. “It’s about May’s belongings. She hasn’t any relatives. So her belongings will be liquidated to the PPDC soon. You should tell Newt. Maybe he wants to keep something.”   
Hermann could see how hard it was for him to say that. But it just was the way it was. Things like that had to be done.  
“I will.” Hermann nodded and closed his fist around the bracelet.  
Tendo nodded too.  
Then he looked around again and sighed. “I have to go. Tell me when you can finally talk to him. Please.” Tendo really seemed to be concerned.  
“No worries.” Hermann tried to gave a little smile. It failed into a pitiful twitch in the corner of his mouth. But Tendo nodded a little bit eased. He left the lab without saying anything more.

Hermann sat down in his chair again and looked at this bracelet in his hand. It really was ridiculous. But it was also the cutest thing Hermann had ever seen. And also the most painful. If it had such an effect on himself, how would Newt…? Hermann lost himself in his thoughts. About it all. About himself. About Newt. How it would go an now?

He must have been away for a few more minutes until he was dragged away by footsteps again.  
Hermann startled and looked up, closing his fist rapidly.  
Then Newt entered the lab. He made his way directly to his own desk with just giving a short nod and a “Hi.” towards Hermann.  
Hermann’s jaw dropped and he was unable to say anything at first. Newt really looked awful. Like he didn’t sleep at all. But that was something Hermann had expected. His face was puffy and his eyes were still red. But he appeared quite clear and calm to Hermann, which worried him even more.  
He stood up and cleared his throat. “I haven’t expected you here today.”Which was the truth. His fist pressed around the bracelet.  
“Uh? Well, bad luck.” Newt turned his head and gave him a cold smirk.  
Hermann took a deep breath. He needed to tell him. Even if Newt would be enraged, aggressive or sad or crying. He just had to.  
“Newton…”  
“Stop, okay?”Now Newt turned fully around holding one hand up. “I don’t wanna talk.”  
“There’s just one thing I have to tell you.” Hermann said promptly.  
Newt looked at him. His eyes were searching for something in Hermann’s face but he didn’t know what. He would have seemed annoyed but he was far too cold for it.  
Then Newt waved his hand to let Hermann speak.  
“Tendo asked me to tell you that you should go soon if you want to keep something from… the belongings.” Hermann hadn’t said May’s name on purpose. Newt had told him so. So he did.

Newt frowned and swallowed. Hermann could see that he couldn’t play cold at it.  
After Newt arranged himself again he said “Tell him I don’t want anything.” His eyes were ice cold again.  
“Newton, maybe you don’t want it now but-“Hermann started but was cut off immediately.

“Shut up, Hermann!” Newt pointed at Hermann. His eyes were filling but he forced himself to leave it by only that.   
“I know what I want, okay? I don’t want anything. I don’t want to look at something and…”   
His voice cracked. If Hermann’s heart wasn’t already broken, it would be now for sure. Seeing Newt like this was something he couldn’t stand. Newt cleared his throat.   
“I just don’t want anything, okay? Just leave me alone for some time. I’ll handle that. Don’t pity me. I will focus on my work to the fullest and will cater for the ending of this whole fucking thing here! Understand?”  
Hermann clenched his fists. The bracelet felt awfully hot. He wanted to counter something or to say anything to release his own built up tension. But he knew he would just hurt Newt even more.  
So Hermann let his shoulders sink and sighed. “Yes.”  
“Fine.” Newt said triumphantly and turned around.

Hermann felt shattered. He sat down again and opened the drawer of his desk. After a short glance over to Newt he put the bracelet carefully and silently to the upper end of the drawer, hidden underneath his personal journal. Newt didn’t noticed.   
Hermann leaned himself back in his chair and observed Newt’s back. His heart still hammered in his chest. He would wait a few more seconds. Then he began to read his files again.


	7. The Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newt has a great idea.
> 
> The last chapter before Pacific Rim interacts...

“You know, I always wanted to ask you about something. Do you… actually like them?” Newt asked May and broke the silence they had been in for a few minutes now.  
May’s head lay on his bare chest, her fingers caressed his stomach and ribcage and traced slowly the lines of his tattoos.   
She looked up after Newt had asked. She frowned, but she smiled slightly.  
“Since when exactly do you care about what other people think about your tattoos?” May was right. Newt actually never cared about that at all.   
“Yeah, but you’re not ‘other people’.” Newt said. And that was the truth. He really was curious about her thoughts about it. He never asked her before, obviously, and he knew that she wouldn’t hate them – because she was laying in his arms right now, pretty obviously too, but somehow he wanted to know.   
“Well, it kinda seems like you’re really really into me, but…” He let out a little laugh and May looked him in the eyes, smiling on. Newt stroked her cheek while she pondered about her response.  
“I think I know why you got them and I like the idea.” She said finally.  
“You do?” Newt was the one frowning now and blinked. He didn’t expect that. Though he didn’t know what he had expected.  
May nodded slightly. Then she continued while looking at the tattoos and tracing them again.  
“Considered that these tattoos show your affection to the preternatural and your personal stubborness to fit in to the world at large in general…” She gave Newt a little smiling glance and his heart jumped. “…they support the attitude that there’s no reason to keep them, or any fears at all, out of our heads. You have to understand them or else you can’t defeat them. And by keeping them this close…” May’s finger stopped almost over his heart. “… it might… it will help to fully understand them.”  
May blinked as Newt just stared at her. “So wrong?” she asked carefully.  
Newt beamed at her. “You’re amazing.”  
Then May bit her underlip. “And… I think they’re god damn sexy, too, by the way.” She put a firm kiss on his lips.

And though it had been so late at night already Newt told her there still was sequel to his last part of his birthday gift.

 

Newt woke up with a quiet shout and a trembling body. He needed a few seconds to make himself clear where he was.   
He breathed in deeply and looked down at his inked arms. Just a dream. Again.

Those dreams were the cruelest of all. It just felt so damn real.   
There were other dreams, horrorfic nightmares, of the night he lost May. Like he ran and ran and ran and couldn’t reach her. Or with himself being on the helicopter aswell, but surviving and watching May die. But these dreams, pure relived memories, tore his heart apart.  
It had been 4 weeks since then.  
Newt somehow managed to get back into his daily routine again. Well, not somehow.There was just too much going on by now. The situation worsened. The PPDC was at the edge and Pentecost mobilized everything he could get to start the final operation. The last strike. Their last chance. Hermann and himself were working the last week without any rest at all. This had been the first night that week that he slept in his bed again and not on his desk after he collapsed after exhaustion.  
Tomorrow they had to present their results to Pentecost to devise the final operation.

Newt sat up in his bed. His glance catched his nigthstand. After putting his glasses on he opened the drawer and took a framed photograph out of it. He had a few photographs of him an d May but this was his most precious. After he had lost her he just had to put it in the drawer – he couldn’t stand to look at it that much. It was just too painful. But he wanted to see it now.  
The photograph showed them standing outside the Shatterdome on the jetty. It had been a beautiful and sunny day – strangely untypically for that time – and Newt was holding the camera to take this picture of them. Himself holding up the camera, grinning and with an arm slung around May. And May by his side looking at him making sheep’s eyes. This was so adorable it hurt just more. “You’re looking like you’re truly admiring me!” Newt had teased her while he was looking at the photgraph with her. She just looked at him smiling and asked “Who wouldn’t?”  
Newt still couldn’t believe that they were dancing around each other for so long until they finally confessed their feelings.  
But Newt didn’t think they had wasted their time. He was happy that he had spent so much time with her. They had each other all the time. And his memeories and love would never fade.

After looking at the picture for an amount of time he put it back and got up to get dressed.  
On his way to the lab May’s voice lingered on his head saying ‘You have to understand them or else you can’t defeat them.’. This was an attitude he always fully represented but somehow he couldn’t get this out of his head.  
As he arrived in the lab he was still pondering. He just nodded at Hermann who gave him a stiff “Good Morning.”.  
Their relationship had gone back some steps back after May’s death. Hermann hadn’t tried again to talk about May and Newt was cool with that. They had talked little since then at all. They hadn’t had the time anyway. So they – when they talked - were mostly arguing.

Newt sat down at his desk and thought about May’s words. You have to understand them. Understand. How could you truly understand the Kaiju? How was this possible? He glanced over to his right, to the corner of the lab with the tank. He gazed at the part of the Kaiju brain that was slowly floating in it. How could you understand anyone completely?  
Then the answer suddenly popped up in his mind. Simple and clear. A drift.  
Newt got up quickly by pushing up from his desk. Because of this sweep his rolling chair rolled on to the middle of the lab.  
“That’s it.” Newt whispered. Sure. This was the answer. A drift with a Kaiju.

“Newton?” Hermann said from the other side of the lab and his voice sounded concerned.  
Newt turned around to Hermann – with a wide smile.

 

…

 

As Hermann saw Newt’s expression on his face he was irritated in the first moment.   
Newt was smiling, almost grinning, truly happy about something Hermann couldn’t figure out yet. This was an expression he hadn’t seen on Newts face since May’s death. And he thought that he wouldn’t see it again.

Newt grasped his head with both hands and was still smiling.  
“I got it! Hermann, I have the idea to… to save us all!”  
Hermann came closer. “What…? What do you mean, Newton?”  
Newt closed the rest of the distance between them and grabbed Hermann’s shoulders. This sudden touch turned his guts and he almost pulled away from Newt because of his surprise about that.  
“I know how we can get the information we need to defeat the Kaiju!” Newt almost shouted.  
Hermann spluttered “A-and.. How?”. He grabbed Newt’s arms and tried to steady him. Newt was shaking. “Newton, calm down.”  
Newt took a deep breath but was still too exited to stop shaking. He looked Hermann deeply in the eyes and Hermann felt like dying.  
“A drift.” Newton said with glee. “I will drift with a Kaiju, I mean, you know, with the part of the brain over there, and figure out how we can stop them!”

Hermann felt crashed. This thought was just horrific. “Newton… This is insane.” Hermann couldn’t understand how Newt got to such a stupid idea.  
“I know, right?” Newton anwered, just didn’t realize that Hermann meant it in a different way. “It just came up to my mind! I can’t believe nobody had this idea before.”  
Hermann took a deep breath, grabbing Newton’s shoulders too.  
“Because it’s insane! It’s crazy and much too dangerous!” Hermann said with a firm voice.  
Now Newt looked at Hermann and started t realizing that Hermann was serious about it.  
“What…? Hermann, what do you mean? Dude, this drift could give us all the answers that we need! It’s not that dangerous! I’m just gonna…”

“You’d kill yourself! You sound like a lunatic!” Hermann snapped and gripped Newt’s shoulders even tighter. He couldn’t hold himself back, he was too worried about Newt really planning to do this. The idea of losing Newt was just overwhelming.

“Ouch!” Newt shouted and broke free from Hermann’s hands. Then he realized what Hermann said. “… lunatic? You think… I’m lunatic?”Newt face was now something between disappointment and anger. A face that piled a blade into Hermann’s heart.

Hermann could’t stand this look upon his face and turned away.  
“When you’re talking like a bloody Kaiju-Groupie, what you apparently are, I have to assume this by such an insane and crackbrained idea!” Hermann said while making his way back to his blackboard. He knew he sounded cruel and it broke his heart. He didn’t think that Newt was lunatic or an idiot. But he couldn’t let Newt know his true, main, reason why he couldn’t let Newt do this. He was afraid that Newt could get hurt or even killed. That he might the most important person in his life. This was a risk he wasn’t going to take and so he wouldn’t help him with this.

“Kaiju-Groupie.” Newt echoed. “I understand then. You’re not with me, alright. And I’m apparently an idiot in your eyes, ok, I could have guessed. But I thought we were colleagues, partners and we’re on a quite similar level somehow, though we’re arguing so much…”  
Hermann turned around and dared to look Newt in the eyes. The look was crushing.  
“…But when you’re saying something like that, I have to take this like you don’t respect me at all.”  
‘No’ Hermann thought. No no no. This was wrong. He felt awful about his words and they weren’t true. He shouldn’t have said something like that. Fear or not.  
“Newton, I…” Hermann began.  
“No, it’s alright Hermann. I understood. I will present this idea to Pentecost tomorrow. Without your help. “  
Newt turned around and went to his desk again.

Hermann looked at Newt’s back for a few seconds. Then he decided that he probably had hurt Newt enough. Hermann turned around to his chalkboard again.

 

That day Mutavore broke through the Anti-Kaiju Wall in Sydney.


End file.
